Learning To Surf
Emotions are just like waves. They come and go, up and down, over and over for the rest of our lives. You can take the ride on these waves while practicing choosing your own thoughts and behaviors regardless of the feelings.
This is not to say feelings are not important. They are. They give us a signal that we might need to pay attention to something important. They can protect us. They can promote social interaction & emotional attachment. They can reinforce creativity and motivate our behaviors (useful and not useful behaviors).
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But what often happens is that we experience a difficult feeling and we believe it’s going to last forever or that we will never get out of it. We allow the feeling (which is just simply a sensation in our bodies) to stop us from moving towards our goals. We don’t process the feeling and therefore it grows stronger and can’t dissipate and so it grows bigger, freaking us out even more.... which moves us to other behaviors we later wish we had not engaged in.
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Example: you FEEL unmotivated, indifferent, apathetic. You have a goal of walking 20 minutes every day. You don’t FEEL like going so you don’t. At some point later on you regret not going and have to deal with all those uncomfortable feelings and possibly declining health.
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The PRACTICE of learning to ride the wave of the feeling-sensation with curiosity (not judgement) and allowing the feeling to just be there (not trying to push it away or stuff it down) and therefore processing it, creates a life filled with realized dreams & goals, thriving relationships, & more feelings of peace and joy.
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When we allow the feeling and get curious about it, we recognize that our behaviors and thoughts are not contingent upon a feeling. We can act and think thoughts of our choosing no matter the feeling. We don’t need feelings to motivate us into any behaviors.
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Continued example: you don’t feel motivated to walk but you say to yourself, “I’m going anyway” or “I don’t need to feel motivated & I am willing”(chosen on-purpose thoughts) OR you simply just put your walking shoes and go (chosen on-purpose behavior).
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Just something to consider as you embark on your new thoughts & behaviors to get you to the new goals & dreams you are working to implement for yourself.